Looking Into The Future, Will Your Marriage Stand The Storms?

I've recently been wondering what kind of marriages my generation will make. As of now, over 60% of marriages in Kenya end up in divorce and averagely 50% of the new couples in this digital world separate within the first year. Maybe this explains why you’ll be considered married after 6 months of union. 

Amid this ugly drama, young people highly anticipate to make a storybook out of their marriage. I guess the big question is, ‘what will you do so that yours won’t feature in the 60% bracket?’ 

In this article I’m going to explain some insights on how we can get prepared and make the right steps to salvage our relationships.

Let’s start here, why are you getting married in the first place?

Hope you’ve answered.

Trust me, people who have been in marriage for 20,30 years will break their ribs if they listened
to what the youth give as reasons as to why they’d love to quit single-hood. These are some of our common reasons:
  • I’m tired of staying single.
  • I want somebody whom we’ll share responsibilities, he/she has got money!
  • I’d love to have a kid.
  • All my fellows are married!
  • I'm pregnant!
  • Pity – want to help somebody, 
  • Fear – none will love me again.
  • To have sex; this might have topped the list...and the list is looong.

Starting It Right

We’ll increase chances of succeeding in marriage if we start right; with the right reasons.
Any successful couple will tell you the secret to a healthy marriage is a desire to share your life with the person you have loved. You willingly anticipate being there for one another as even your desires (the reasons I mentioned above) are met.  No wonder Jesus said there is no greater love than laying down your life for another. It is more of what you’re giving than what you’ll receive. This is the true reason for living.

Do you know why you have a list of the qualities your partner to be must have so you can approve him/her? It’s because you are more concerned of what you’ll receive. Now, a good advice: Go ahead and list down the virtues you must attain before you let anybody date you. 

I’m not Getting the Right Person… 

The worst mistake you can ever make is marrying the wrong person. And we can’t exaggerate that. As all serious people may reveal, finding this Mr/Mis right has never been a joke. If it were that easy, then the cries we here from young people could be fewer. It’s important to say this: it’s even harder if one has a negative mind regarding dating. For instance if you keep saying you fear marriage or there are no ‘good people to marry’, then you drastically reduce your chances of getting the right partner soon. As a matter of fact, you gonna be on that bench for a while. 

Moreover, the past nasty dating experiences may deter somebody from making a move. Or one may feel inadequate. But it doesn’t mean you’re not going to marry, or you’re not interested in a relationship in the first place; despite all the misfortunes, marriage is still a good institution.

There are many ways of finding your life partner, the easiest being sheer luck. But since this world has called everyone to work for everything, you need to align yourself. You’re asking me how? Ok. The alignment I’m talking of is doing the right thing at the right time in the right place in the right manner. Why? Because successful people are those opportunities find ready, and marriage isn’t an option.  This is the right time to ask yourself, “Do I have the qualities my partner is looking for?” If we all responded positively to this question, I guess the world shall be full of ‘marriage material individuals’.

But marriage requires God's intervention. That's why you need to learn to be close to Him, and rely on his leading. I call it being at the well. Read more on why at the well at "Did You Meet Her At The Well Too?"

The Purpose…

Marriage was ordained by God for a purpose. If you don’t get the purpose you get it all rough and wrong. You’ll create a wrong marriage. And the children in this marriage are the worst victims. Most evidently, they’ll form poorer families when their time comes. And the cycle continues. We can stop this; it’s high time we got the purpose of marriage from the author before we rush to say ‘I love you’ then thereof ‘I do’. Then we can shout yeeeees!

All the best!

And here goes my question again: Are you a marriage material? Can you be an answered prayer to somebody? You know better.