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Why Judging Your Partner Might Kill Your Relationship

It's all merry when a relationship begins because the individuals are showing the best of their character (by default, lol). Each one is high and really committed in doing the best for the relationship. 

As you share and grow in love, the other side of the coin starts to reveal; the inconsistency in him, the impatience in her, and the negatives you'd love never to be spotted in your partner. Then you are like, "oops! I didn't know this!" This is when a judgmental mind begins to crop.  

Why your good relationship might die
At the moment of judging, definitely your moods are low and none of you really wants to stay around. This wears out a certain degree of intimacy and you feel like you're beginning afresh again. If the judgment is done frequently, then you can imagine the amount of damage done to your relationship. Corrosion gets deep especially when you're that type that can remember long forgiven mistakes even if you discussed and settled them. A gap is created between you and the wider it gets the colder your love gets. Finally you can't tolerate your partner because you see more 'negatives' than good in him/her. Then you decide to call it quits.

How to stop judging your partner
We judge on what we don't like. We're all human and do see things in different ways. So it's important to understand that it's purely human to judge some situations. But we must always fight to avoid it. Most of its fruits are bitter. Bellow I share 5 tips on how to overcome judging your partner and build a health relationship.

1. Forces with same charge repel
Your partner is your mirror. In other words, what you see in him/her is a reflection of you. The moment you begin courting, the image in the mirror gains more pixels and becomes stronger as you progress and even marry.

So if you repel against a certain character in your partner, go sit and evaluate yourself if you have some specs of the same. If we judged ourselves first, it could be easy to accept our partners and help them overcome the weakness in them.

2. A true lover does his/her best 
If a person truly loves you, then he/she will do the best to maintain the relationship. Yes they might have some weaknesses but the big question is "are they committed to your happiness?" None of us is an angel, (and that is not an opening to be reckless), so we need to know when somebody is dedicated to build a relationship. When you react on the same spirit you'll suffocate any judgmental thought that might want to germinate.

3. Concentrate on the 'positives'
 From common experiences we know we can achieve any heights if we focus on the goals. The same is true in courtship and marriage relationships. Always dig for the 'good traits' in your partner. We're blessed in different ways. Find out what's best in your love. That way, the negatives shall be weak and of less impact to you, thus enabling you to focus on building your relationship.

4. Appreciate and encourage your partner
If you examine relationships that are doing badly, the couple invests more energy and time in judging and complaining as compared to appreciating each other.  After finding the best in your partner, proceed to appreciating them. Appreciation fosters the positive qualities as it slowly kills what you don't like. Do you want your partner to improve into perfection? Simply appreciate him/her.

5. Consider if there is any truth in your partner
At times we may harshly judge our partners only to realize we were wrong. And maybe our actions have done damages so hard to reverse; we've lost the trust. We can avoid this by looking for any truth in whatever we're basing our judgment. When busy judging, it is hard to spot anything good in what your partner is doing or saying. Relaxing and taking time to examine the situation can open your mind and heart to view things in a totally different angle. Who knows from what pit you'll save your relationship from by simply taking an hour to re-think!

Weather you are in a marriage or courtship, judging your partner will do you more harm than good. Long-distance relationships are more prone to judgement due to the doubts brought by distance. When you learn anything negative you better open up for a discussion to iron the wrinkles out. Practice the above tips and give God a chance in your relationship. You shall surely make it. All the best!

Do you have any other tip to overcome judging a partner, or which of the above tips can help more? Share your advice and comments bellow. Remember to hit the share button! Blessings!