4 Most Effective Steps To Solving Relational Problems

The stability and success of any relationship or marriage  highly depends on both the commitment and maturity of the mates. As you grow together, life changes and the life you'll lead will be determined by how these emerging changes will affect you. 

For instance, if you get into a season of financial constrains, a mature, strong partner dedicated to the relationship will stand with you and therefore helping foster a great relationship. A weakling may surely break the relationship! The same may happen if you manage to move a step higher financially.

Thus each and every relationship or family has its own ups and downs; some form of force that
may want to tear you apart. This is where compatibility comes in, and it's as a result of the deeper desire from both of you to be united. And many potential relationships that could lead to notable marriages have been killed by lack of effective problem tackling. Yea, a small quarrel may cause a turmoil and even cause a divorce! Nevertheless, I've engaged several couples who've confessed they have never fought, and that ain't a mare tale. So my question goes, What is then the secret behind a happy and successful family? What makes some family lead a smooth life?

The different between a blissful and miserable family lies on the mode of solving their problems, if they solve at all. Unsolved problems may become a barricade that blocks effective communication. It is communication that sustains love and respect among the couple. It has been said that if communication is the lifeblood of marriage, then respect and love are the lungs and heart of the relationship. Communication therefore holds a vital place in family happiness and it's greatly hurt when problems arose. Anyone can easily love and tell stories when happy; but when the heart strings are bruised?!

In this article I am going to share from my heart 4 effective steps to solving any relational problems.

Step 1: Decide and set a time to discuss the problem

The worst thing you'll ever do when a problem has risen is to brush it under the carpet and assume everything is alright. One thing I've found with human minds is they can really hold memories, especially negative ones. And, trust me,  it's MORE worse to have a spouse who hides his/her pains and discontent than the one who confronts you when you mess their peace. 

There is though a time for everything. The wise King Solomon said it better: there is a time to be silent and a time to speak. Avoid talking when your emotions are evoked since you are not likely to reason positively. Instead be silent and try to control yourself. But then don't give it your back; sit and speak. Throughout the process, maintain genuine respect for your spouse. It's important to note here that health relationships mostly have regular time they discuss their predicament. Set a time weekly when you'll sit and do nothing but discuss your love life. If something arose, discuss and kill it. If nothing come a long, say hooray and move higher. 

But the main point here is, whenever a confusion creeps in, set a time to disentangle it.

Step 2: Express your views in honest and respect

Note that you are talking to your best friend and closest neighbor, despite what has happened. Behind your mind, put yourself in his/her mind. Remember that your mate is human too; understanding how you're feeling may not be automatic, therefore it is important you express your feelings clearly and openly. Say what you think the problem is, when it arose, how you are feeling about it, and what, according to you, might be the solution. Say something like "When I call you and you sound dull and unconcerned (when, what) i feel like my efforts to show love and care are not appreciated (how). 

Please, deep from within may it be clear that you're doing this because you value the relationship. May your mate truly feel they're respected even though they might be n the wrong side. This will foster confidence and strengthen your love. The major aim for holding a discussion is not winning but to solve a problem and return your friendship to normal status. That is why the next step is fundamental.

Step 3: Listen to your spouse's feelings

Don't presume you are right neither should you think you know your partner's feelings. Talk in turns; each of you should have a chance to talk. Listen carefully to your mates opinion and ensure you have understood it. The best way to do this is to repeat what your partner has said aloud without bitterness or cynicism. Do it with compassion and love. Respect is earned; if you show respect then your spouse is likely to respect you. 

One thing you must not allow to get into you at this stage is greedy; thinking you've a right to be favored. Relationships don't mature in such directions. It takes a serious and honest consideration to your friends feelings. If you come this far safely, then the last step can be easy.

Step 4: Agree on a Solution

The key to a successful solution is being reasonable and flexible. As I said early, at times you may be wrong; the accuser may tern to be the accused. Some men may take advantage of being appointed by God to be heads of the family to force their way into "winning". That is deadly and suicidal!! It shall surely do you worse than good. Leadership is not dictatorship. 

A couple is yoked together consequently it has to do to a thing a time - together - if it desires a fulfilled relationship. Simply create teamwork. Two are better than one. Write down as many solutions as possible, discuss and try to act on one. If you learn to pull together you will solve almost any problem and achieve great things as a couple. There is this quote that has become my cliche : life is short to be lived stressed up. Learn to be happy!

A Point Worthy  Noting

Pray for God's help and apply Bible principles for a happy family.God is the author of marriage and thus has got all the script to this amazing story. Consult and involve Him for guidance. if a code of two strings will be hard to break, then the one with three will be much harder to. Invite God into your relationship and you'll never regret it.

Back to you: What is your experience in solving relationship issues? Any other tip to lead us into a healthy relationship and marriage? Feel free to share your wisdom, and remember to hit the share button to reach our friends!

Blessings and I wish you a blissful relationship!