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The Magic In "I'm Sorry"

One of my deepest desires, as the theme of this blog goes, is to join hands with the youth of my generation to form a mature, morally upright and responsible people. Young guys who can be trusted with responsibilities. Yea, a people who we can put some hope in, that in the near future they'll form a stronger company of adults who'll run not just the economy of this world, but also the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Oops! Where does "I'm Sorry" come in here?!

Ok. One way we can achieve this goal is by learning to develop strong and  healthy relationships
with friends, family members, workmates and whoever comes our way. And I just realized I can't fathom the power in learning how to apologize; a simple "I'm Sorry" said in the right manner and attitude.


Effective Apology
Simply stated, this is the apology that serves it's purpose: To restore the relationship. In fact, making it better than it was.

Why An 'Effective' Apology?
A genuine apology shows that you're remorseful for your wrong actions towards somebody. It tells that you recognize the pain you've caused in the heart of the offended person. It also shows that you do value the relationship between the two of you.

If you manage to restore the confidence of the person you've hurt, then you'll be more trusted since you'll be viewed responsible to your actions. This in turn will raise your credibility, another rare virtue in this fast-moving culture.

The main aim of apology ain't for you to feel better. No, it's to make the offended feel better, and regain the sense of being valued. By apologizing you release that person and bring him/her to normal life so they can effectively carry out their daily duty. If we live for ourselves, then that would be a miserable life. We live for each; that's the true reason for living.

But at times you may come clear with a clean heart desiring to offer a sincere apology for your faults, only to create more hurts. That's why it's fundamental that it be an 'effective' apology. It's something we all can learn; and we should. After all, we are all human; we do err and we shall desire to be forgiven too. 

Why hard to say "I'm Sorry"?
With all those beautiful benefits of giving an apology, why is it still difficult to go ahead and say these two simple words? We can easily say the words for trivial issues especially to people not so closely attached to us. But when it comes to them that matter the most and regarding important matters, giving an apology can be a steep mountain to climb. This is as a result of two things.

Pride is the main cause of not apologizing because a sincere apology calls for humility. To many, it brings this feeling of 'weakness', shame and embarrassment. That's why making an a apology is for the mature minded.

Fear is another issue. An apology, a genuine one, opens a door to criticism, rejection and costly consequences like losing your job, or breaking a relationship.

But it's important to note that both the parties know what went wrong, and it's not wise to go dump. It's you to choose between putting things in black and white and try to mend the relationship or live with guilty and a sore relationship. 

Making an Effective Apology
Evaluate the Wrong
Take time to understand what really went wrong, especially with complex matters. This will help gauge the depth of damage and pain your actions caused and prepare well prior to presenting your apology.

Time Factor
The earlier you make your apology the better! The longer you take, the harder it becomes to approach that person since more pain and heartaches will builds with time. Taking longer also may mean you really didn't care. What answer shall you give if asked "what were you wait for all this long?" Nevertheless, some situations may require some time for the offender to cool down, or even yourself; an apology given when spirits are high usually worsen the situation. Be wise enough to examine the appropriate time to make a move.

Saying It, Right
This is the most Important - and, properly, most difficult.. The words you say matter. How you say them matter. The attitude matters. It's all about how to package your apology. 

You must be genuinely remorseful. The verb is BE not APPEAR TO BE. You can't afford to act. Remember you're doing this to restore a relationship and maintain the mutual respect and trust.

It's needful to begin by saying, "I'm sorry..." or "I apologize".

Then the next statement should show your bad action. Let the offended know that you acknowledge the pain you caused him/her. You must be careful to carry the responsibility. Your word need to show you recognize it was your mistake. There's no need go apologize for what you didn't do. So don't shift responsibility to seek for mercy and favor. The main agenda here is not even to be forgiven, but truly acknowledging that you  did make a mistake and you do care for the person you wronged.

Lastly, Sum your apology with a request for forgiveness, and promise you'll be careful not to repeat the same mistake. Show the commitment to making things right. You must prepare your mind for any response. Presenting an effective apology does not mean you should be forgiven, only God does that; with humans, it may take time and some may never forgive you. It's just a fact.

What Next?
If you're forgiven say "hallelujah!" and move on to 'living good'. If not so, wait for an acceptance; you've done your part. Forgive yourself. Don't go apologizing all the time, it shall ruin your relationship at last. Yes, people may feel good if you go saying I'm sorry, but this shall kill your dignity and self esteem. Again thy won't respect you. Everything has a level of operation; they say too much of something is poisonous.

So, What's the Magic?
I'm sorry brings some form of unexplainable relief to both parties. It can build a trust and faith that nothing can. A truly genuine apology expresses a higher level of care, I guess it's because it mostly deals with mending a heart. It's the same 'sense' that leads us to repentance, an action that makes God forgive our sins, and help us begin a journey of eternal salvation so we may overcome the harsh eternal judgment. Oh the magic in the two simple words: I'm Sorry!

Back to you: Is it important to apologize? What is your experience with these magic words? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment box bellow. Also hit that share button to reach our friends!

Blessings as you purpose to foster your apology skills...lol!