To Whom Do Men Look Up To When In A Fix?

By the way, men do cry – though secretly, often. I’ve personally literally cried, aloud. The pain was too much; I closed my door and cried for like 15 minutes.

I can’t forget the only time I witnessed my very dad cry as the casket of our late grandma was being lowered down.

My pastor once cried on the pulpit as he gave a bad testimony of the youth who fall into fornication. He asked, “Is this what I
teach you? Is all my labor in vain?”

We can attest of our former Prime Minister Raira Odinga cry after losing the General Elections.

Jesus Christ, the son of God cried! When Lazarus died. When he looked at desolate Jerusalem. On the cross. He cried.

…and there are many secret incidents of cries. Men do cry.

For ladies, whenever in pain, rejection, betrayal or accusation, you can always look up to a man –and most could love to cry on his chest. Children can look up to their parents and guardian. To whom will a man look up to for comfort?


First, better encourage yourself!

Truth be told, very few people will tolerate a crying man – not even God! When Moses faced the Red Sea crisis, he surely didn’t know what to do.

The Egyptians are coming. The Israelites are crying. Moses must find a solution.

In such a situation, God asks Moses, “Why are you crying out to me?” Exodus 14:15. You can ask, “God, seriously?!

Thus as a man, whatever happens, your heart and mind must be aware that, first of all, the help come from within. Don’t expect for a solution or encouragement from without.

But King David adds something significant: Encourage yourself in the Lord.

The Amalekites invaded part of David’s territory, took captive women and children. David’s two wives, Ahinoam and Abigail were also taken captive. All people were greatly grieved and wanted to stone David. Everyone wanted an encouragement from David, but who could encourage David?

But David encouraged himself in the LORD his God. 1 Samuel 30:6

The ‘encourage yourself’ must be grounded in the fact that God is more than able to carry you through. Nothing is impossible when He is involved.

                                         [Recommended: Four Pillars of Manhood]


Don’t make Rehoboam’s mistake!

One young man, Rehoboam, became king after his father Solomon died. He didn’t know what to tell the people who’d requested him to make their yoke lighter that what Solomon imposed on them.

Jeroboam did a nasty mistake which coasted him his Kingship. He forsook the advice of the elders and took heed to the misleading words of his age-mates. 1 Kings 12:13-14.

The point is, as a man, you need seasoned people around you. People who can give you good and sound advise whenever you need one.

Some young people (because they dislike responsibility) will look for advice in the words of their mates. Since you have the same experience, they’ll encourage you to do what’s comfortable.

Good advice ain’t easy to follow. It takes a sacrifice. You may be required to let go your comfort, ego and even possessions. Some times I’ve gone to my dad for advice and I haven’t liked most of the decisions he wanted me take. But whenever I honored him I didn’t regret.

I’m not refuting the fact that your age mates can give sound advice. If fact, countless times have I found incredible wisdom in my fellow young friends. But more than often, real life problems require experienced minds. They say history repeats itself; somebody must have gone through what is giving you headache – and they survived. There lies your answer!


SOME Ladies can help – be flexible!

I have realized that people relate well with them that show emotions. The women in your life (wife, mother, relatives and friends) will appreciate if you be real. Once in a while be real; let them know you’re overburdened. We live in a real world with real problems.

I have a cousin gal I’m not afraid to tell anything. The first gal I told, “my heart is broken!”

I’ve held hands with my mum praying over an issue.

I have married friends who have confessed to me how they’ve found comfort and support in their understanding wives when dark moments came their way.

Has this made us lesser men? Did the ladies involved stop respecting us? As a matter of fact, they love us more. Real human beings have emotions. Be real.


The final word

Despite the comfort and help a man may receive from knowledgeable and compassionate people around him, yet the real solution is within. A real man must build the stamina, wisdom and capability to look up to the God within him. There will you find unending source of solutions and solace.