Love Demands a Sacrifice, Always

In my quest for Ms. right, I’ve discovered that I can’t tick all of the requirements in my mental “must have list”. I am always disappointed whenever I take my pen and paper, for either one or two of my demands are not met by whoever I’m holding for an interview in the private chambers of my brain.

It’s a real struggle; I’m always left to choose between willingly withholding something I cherish to let her in, or clinging to my pride and let her go. Is this true to you or I’m the only one on the island?

I’m writing this article to help you not waste a lot of time waiting for your list to turn 100% positive, because it won’t. And even if it may “seem” to be, you’ll realize later that you fooled yourself or the same person is either unreachable or for some reasons decides not to love you.

The sacrifice comes in two ways: Letting go something you love, or accepting something you don’t love.

Accepting something you don’t love

As I have elaborated in my article why it's hard finding true love, you will always read love in 3 forms: 

  • Spiritually: Depending on your spiritual mutuality, you will get attracted to people who are either at your level or higher than you are. Some people won’t care if you do know a church door, while others won’t dare date someone they’ll have to teach how to say the Lord’s prayer.
  • Mind: General life falls here: How will she handle my kins? She is barren! Could he prefer partying? Her spending? He comes from what tribe?! Oh boy, she gets angry so fast!
  • Physical appearance: Less said of this, we all have this figure we badly want; picking from tall, short, big, slim, dark, light.
Every demand on your list will fall in any of the above categories. Unfortunately, only angels can glitter, sleep and wake up before you, tolerate you always and put a cake in your mouth, all at the same time, and choose to be barren or not. I guess humans can’t, they’ll only try.

In one of my favorite movies, The Longest Ride, elderly Ira Levinson, through his love story, inspires young lovers (Luke Collins, a professional bull rider and Sophia Danco, an art lover).

In flashbacks Ira and Ruth meet and every bit of their lives falls in place. They get engaged and plan to settle as soon as Ira, a soldier, gets back from World War II.

On top of her wish list, Ruth had made it clear that she wanted a big family. Any lady who wants that? :-)

But little did she know that her dream was just that – a dream – as Ira is shot while at the battlefield and later informed by his doctor that he won't have children anymore.

It is a tough choice for Ruth to make. Deep within, her heart boils with love. Here without, the reality of not bearing a child of her own faces her, forevermore. But to teach us that love requires a sacrifice, Ruth accepts a condition she never wanted. 

Her desire to be a mother is so huge that she once divorced Ira. But as they say, love conquers all; she cames back later and they live happily thereafter. In their old age, Ira wake up at six in the morning, only to find his friend, and only joy, not breathing.

 It’s good to understand, that whatever is missing in a person, is only missing as per your check list; in fact, someone else has ticked it in their list as perfect. That’s why someone may wonder, why did she love him?! 

When your time to decide comes, be wise. Know that you may be required to accept some ‘unfavorable’ portions of that person. 

A friend of mine testified to me on how God gave her a wonderful husband who is loving, faithful and very hard working. If only God could take away his nagging! He can call at 9 am just to say, “I asked you to put my diary on the table, you didn’t! I’ve wasted a whole 10 minutes looking for it!” 

Now, someone has a man who doesn’t nag, but unfaithful.

Letting go something you love

If you’re lucky enough not to put up with something you won’t prefer, then chances are you’ll have to emulate Jesus - let go something you love.

In the movie I mentioned earlier, it took a long struggle for Luke and Sophia to marry. Luke had to quit the only thing he knew - bull riding - and Sophia chose Luke over a coveted internship secured at New York City, which could lead to a prestigious job.

Again, when your time comes, be wise. Weigh your options. You may be required to ransom a better job or an opportunity to study. You may need to adjust your friendship list. I know of a lady who had to choose between her friends and the man she loved most. She choose to quit drinking so she can follow her man to church. That meant she had to cut off some friends. Sounds rude and unrealistic? I know, but that was her sacrifice.   

You may like Wanjiru Kihusa's confessions in her article, I never not the man I wanted.

I’m not advising you to choose love over your favorites, I’m only letting you know that love has demanded that you swallow your pride, you can’t have both!

Don’t fail your love test!

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