3 Key Relationships That Will Hinder Your Success If They’re Dysfunctional

An old proverb advises, 'If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, create relationships people.'

It therefore goes without saying that to accomplish your life vision or dream, you need to take a keen regard on how you relate with those around you.

Here, I'll help you consider 3 crucial relationships you must take care of if you truly want to lead a successful life.

#1. Parent/ Child Relationship

Every one of us has either a parent(s) or parent(s) figure. Thus there is in every individual a parent/child relationship existing.

Either party should work its part to foster this relationship. When the two are not in good terms, their progress in life is greatly hindered.

Children honor your parents

You can change the house you’re living, you can own more than 2 homes, you can change your car, you can change a job, you can actually resign and start your own business, others have divorced and got themselves new partners, but your parent(s) will never change – they are the same people who brought you forth and/or dedicated their time and resources, no matter how little, to raise you when you couldn’t do much for yourself.

No matter how successful or educated you get than them it won’t go well with you if you dishonor, neglect, or avoid this relationship. 

This honor calls for inward reverence and honoring them in behavior, speech and heart. It also includes lawful estimations of their persons. This too calls for obeying all their instructions, council and commands that are not sinful, and covering their flaws, failures and weaknesses.

This what Pr 23:22 says: Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

But my parents did hurt me!

What shall we do to fathers who raped us? A mother who threw us in a ditch hours after birth? A Father who had capacity to educate us but didn’t but instead spent his money in drinking dens and later came to beat us and our mum? A parent who was not a parent to us when we most needed them? What shall we do to such parents?

The simple relieving answers is, hate them back. It somehow takes away your pain.

Unfortunately, this will come to haunt you later. Yes, just for a while, life will seem to go well with you but at the end, somewhere in your life, you may be forced to pay for your actions. If you escape, someone down your family may be forced to pay up.

Having watched closely the experience of bringing forth a life to this world, I think I understand why this is so.

The struggle of keeping a baby in a womb for 9 months and the trauma of giving birth, and the few after birth months needed for the mother to heal, are enough reasons why a person may be cursed if they dishonor their parents.

Somehow, somehow, for your good and the good of your offspring and the generations to come, find grace and a way to be in good terms with your parents.

Parents, Provoke not your children to wrath

A parental power over children should not be abused. Some parents, through mistreatment, and wrongful upbringing have pushed their children to develop hatred, fear and disregard. And in return, the children end up missing the blessing attached to honoring their parents.

As a parent you have the duty of giving your children the right instructions and admonitions, correct them in love, provide for them according to your capacity, bring them up in virtue and religion, being to them the right examples they can follow.

It’s your responsibility to ensure that child becomes a responsible child in the society, and empower them to lead lives worth an emulation and beneficial to the people around them.

Train up a child and when he grows up he won’t forget.

#2. Wife/ Husband Relationship.

If your marriage relationship becomes dysfunctional, then everything related to you is affected: Work, business, friends, spirituality, health etc.

This may explain how true it is that two become one when two get married. Whether you are legally married or you are just trying things out, the fact is you have a binding agreement to live together as husband and wife.

You therefore, as an individual, have a responsibility to maintain, nature and build that relationship – for your good.

Often that always, it has never ended well with individuals who mistreat their marital partners.
Huge business are brought down by mare husband/wife unwilling to work together.

People are jailed for dishonoring their marital responsibilities. And as you might be knowing, when you’re in jail everything related to you is shaken.

When husband and wife live in harmony, even God speedily blesses them. In fact, where there is unity, the Lord commands a blessing.

I heard Pastor Mark Mutinda once say, “The easiest way to succeed in life is having a peaceful marriage.”

#3. Employer/ Employee Relationship

For a peaceful and successful life, you require a good employer/employee relationship.

Why should you have a thriving relationship with children and partner only to be given headache by work place relationships?

Employees, be obedient.

One mistake most individuals commit is getting acquainted or used to their bosses.

Even if your boss is a cross friend or your age mate, never ever mix that relationship with your position as a worker. Draw clear lines and always, always remember you’re dealing with a person who directly influences your source of income.

Carry out your duties with diligence, with a sincere desire to do that which you’re assigned to do – not because you just want their approval, but because it’s the right thing to do.

Avoid misusing work time. Most people are always on social media at the time they should be working. Others willingly avoid working by lazing around.

And such individuals are working their way out to put up their own businesses, and want their employees to be faithful. It’s going to be hard achieving these goals! What you plant, the same shall you reap!

Honor your employer, knowing that they have power and authority over you. It’s the right thing to do – and you shall experience peace and therefore create conditions conducive for growth.

Employers, treat workers well

Every employer should exercise their authority with care and love. Every one under your watch requires correct guidance and motivation to bring out the best out of them.

Pay them “that which is just and equal” – Colossians 4:1. Make their working conditions bearable and conducive.

Don’t allow people working under you silently make cursing prayers for you. Every painful tear dropped, every hurting word uttered, every negative wish made will come to knock at you.

A Swahili saying goes: Wacha waseme watachoka, usiku watalala (Let them speak out, at last they’ll tire and lay to rest). Meaning, no matter what people say, they won’t say it forever, at some point, they’ll give up and leave you alone.

That’s true, but what the saying didn’t include is the fact that words will never go to sleep. After them saying go to sleep, the words they spoke will be left in the air looking for a place to rest…where they were directed.


Every one of us is in one, two or all of the three relationships. You have a duty to streamline these relationships if you desire succeed in life and fulfill your God given dream.

Honoring your parents will give you a blessing to long live and open up doors of success in all you’ll do.

Honoring your life partner will help you maintain, grow and succeed in the blessing you already have.

Honoring your boss/ worker will provide an extra grace to get to the finishing point.

Work out your relationships.

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